120 - Finding Your Trusted Mentor

Welcome, everybody, my name is Nick brown. So very thankful and glad that each one of you is coming out here today. Now, I just want to say, thank you. This is going to be one of the topics that is near and dear to my heart. And that is mentoring. You see, I really feel like every single person needs a mentor. I don't care where you are, in your culinary career, whether you're a full on executive chef with 30 years of experience as an executive chef, or whether you're just barely starting out, because everybody has something that they can learn. So today, less today's masterclass is all about navigating culinary success, finding your trusted mentor. Now, I'm going to tell you right here right now, this is something that I have always wanted to have. And, you know, and having this mentor, having this person that I could look up to, that I could talk to and really create this relationship with his has always been one of my biggest dreams. Now, I'm not saying that I haven't had people who have been minor mentors, or who have shown me the ropes who have taught me things, who have really kind of pushed my boundaries and helped me when I'm talking about is somebody who is really interested in you, or me that you have this established relationship that says, I'm going to go to you. And you're going to teach me, I'm going to go to you with some issues with some problems that I'm going through, you're going to help me kind of navigate that. So what exactly is culinary mentorship? So it is really someone who is interested in your success. But it's not someone who has direct power over your employment or disciplinary action. See, I had many, many mentors that had that direct power over my, you know, employment, like they were my bosses, or, or the bosses bosses or something like that anyway, but then I've never really had somebody who was outside of my work. Who is outside that I would go to. And I'm going to tell you right now, a lot of it is my own fault. And the reason is because I was not willing to go out and ask for that help. So this is what this is all about sharing with you the importance of it, and helping you overcome that step that says I want it. But how do I go about asking? How do I find that trusted mentor? How do I really get somebody and trust them with what I'm feeling deep inside. So this person, this mentor, this, he can be part of that same organization, but he's not going to be somebody who has direct, you know, power over whether you're working or not. Okay? They are somebody who is somebody that you can trust, and that you're willing to give the whole truth to, not just your side of the story, not just what you feel, and just the parts that make you look good. Because you know, we all do that. This is about doing something that is really giving the entire truth. And being willing to accept that alternative truth through the eyes of experience. mentorships can help you leapfrog your peers because you have someone that you can go to, to help overcome those difficult situations. And to gain that broader perspective and help you switch your paradigm into something that is more wholesome. That will help you advance your career that will help you reach your goals a lot faster. A mentor that you can trust is someone that will teach you the skills, the tips and the tricks to move faster in your life. So that's the first thing first, you need to understand why it's so important. Now let's get into the first step. The first step is before you get your culinary mentor. You need to figure out what it is you want to accomplish. Because if you don't know what you're going for, if you don't know what you're trying to shoot for, if you don't have any goals or any ambition, or anything like that besides just the I Want It Then it's going to be very difficult to find the right mentor for you. And you'll probably go through several people who just don't quite fit and you don't know why. So a mentor is going to be somebody who's more than just a buddy or a trusted friend, they will. There's someone who will look at your life and your decisions and help you navigate the past to reach your goals. So before you can get this mentor before you can really achieve this, you need to figure out what it is you want in life, what it is, what's your vision, what's your goals, last week, I talked about the goals I talked about the vision, I talked about all those kinds of things, to help you begin this process of figuring out where it is you want to go so that you can then shoot for it and find that mentor, find that guide, find that person that's really going to help you along. When you're looking for a mentor, you should look within the field that you want to go into. Okay. There are a multitude of fields within the culinary field. There is baking, there's pastries, there is French cuisines, all sorts of cuisines, there's hotels, there are country clubs, standalone restaurants, mom and pop shops, any of those kinds of things, on site, catering, outside catering, everything like that, all that kind of stuff, you need to if you're once you figured out those goals, then you need to find somebody who was has experience in that area. Okay, you need to know where you want to go. You need to know what you want to do. And once you figure that out, that's when you can start to find this mentor. Having this clear vision of what you want, will make it all the more possible to find as this mentor. So once you figure that out, now you go searching for this mentor, where in the world are you gonna find a mentor, like, there's not like a mentorship website that says, hey, I'm willing to be a mentor, come, you know, hire me or something. There's, there's not that kind of thing. Multiple multiple chefs that I know of, are excited to teach and to help other people grow. But they're not sitting there going, Hey, I'm willing to teach, you know. So you need to go out there and find a potential mentor. Okay, where can you find those, obviously, you can go to culinary schools, you can find some, you know, some of the culinary teachers there. Almost every single one of them has extensive experience in some area. And maybe they will be willing to mentor you, in the expertise, sit there and go to other restaurants or bakeries, go to places that you would like to go to, or the types of places that you would like to end up and start asking around, getting to know them. Building your network, your your group of friends. go to culinary associations, just get to know other people. Other places LinkedIn right here on LinkedIn, start connecting with other chefs that you feel inspired by, that are working in places that you want to work, okay, start connecting with them and start talking to them begin the initial conversation. The important thing is, is that you are out and about and working on it. You're actively searching and you're saying, I want to know people, I want to build my friendships, I want to give my networks and it's and it's more of when you're doing this. It's more of you just want to get to know them. Okay, don't go into it. thinking, Okay, how is he going to help me? Or how is he going to help me? Or how is she going to help me? Think of it as I really want to get to know them? Because I think they're awesome. Okay, so some of the qualities of a trusted mentor. First of all, obviously, working in the culinary field, they're going to have extensive culinary experience. The nice thing is, is they have that expertise in the area of your interest. What is it that you're looking for? Do you want French cuisine find somebody who has expertise in French cuisine. If you're looking for Asian foods, find somebody who has that interest. If you really want to have some help, and you really want to do In catering, find a caterer that has the expertise in that start to get to know them. You want to have somebody who has that effective teaching and communication skills. Because they've got to be able to teach you, they gotta be able to show you and communicate to you what it is, and how you can improve. They also have to have a passion for sharing knowledge. This may sound interesting, but there are a lot of chefs out there who don't want to share their knowledge. And they may allow you to be your buddy, and hang out and get to know them. But they're not willing to show you and teach you because they may not feel secure. Okay? Or that's just the way that it's always been. That's the way they they were taught that you guarded your secrets. And that if you let those secrets out, then it was going to devalue your or that person's value, and, and somebody else might take their job. I think that that is changing in this in this industry. And so because of that, I don't think that's going to be too much of an issue anymore. But you still may find a couple of people who are willing to bring in but they don't want to share their knowledge with you. Now, all of these things, you immediately think, Okay, I'm going to have to find somebody who's older than me. That's not necessarily the case. Because what you're really looking for, is what is it the area of interest that you're looking for. And you may find somebody who is 510 15 years younger than you, that has that expertise in that area, that has been able to really figure out what it is and how to be successful in that area. And you can learn for that. So don't let age equate to, to authority, okay. Because also, there may be some people who have taken, taken advantage of this mentoring, taking advantage of coaching, and have leapfrogged people left and right and have gotten to where they're at, because they have worked at it and been very diligent and, and focused in achieving their goals. And they have learned all of this experience from all the other people who have mentored them, and then they are willing to mentor you. So I am, don't let age determine whether you are going to allow whether you think somebody is a good mentor or not. So once you've kind of figured out, okay, I like this guy, I like this guy, she is amazing. I really love her. What she teaches is this great, start to get to know them a little bit more, and start to initiate that mentoring relationship. Now this is going to be the hardest part. Okay, the thinking about it, the wishing, the hoping and the oh, that person's great. And that person is great is the easy part. Now comes the initiation, initiating of this mentoring relationship. So how do you go about doing that? Firstly, get to know them. Don't talk about yourself all the time. Let them know that you are genuinely interested in them, in their work in their passions in their goals? What is it? What are they currently working on? Where do they want to go? And in time, you get to know some more personal information. Maybe you can ask them questions like, what is it that they like to do when they're not working? What is their passion outside of work? Once you feel like that relationship is going well. And you still feel like this person is a good fit. That's when you start letting them know your goals and aspirations. Let them know that you're looking for a mentor. Let them know that you look up to them and you appreciate their friendship and their feedback. And just straight out ask them. I would really love it if you would mentor. When you're doing this, make sure you have a clear goal of what you want. Again, going back to those goals and the visions, what is it that you really want when you say I would really like you to mentor me? What do you mean by that? How often will you meet? How will you meet? What are you going to meet? What are you going to talk about during these meetings? Making sure that you in this as as this progresses and as you are building this mentorship relationship. Make sure that you set these boundaries and make sure they're clear. Because a friendship can deteriorate really quickly, if the two boundaries are not quite the same, and you think that you're fulfilling their boundaries, and you're staying within your boundaries, but they feel like you're consistently overstepping those boundaries. So make sure you set those clear boundaries. And make sure that you respect them. And so that they will, they will know that you respect their boundaries. So the next step, once you've got this relationship, once you've got this figured out, here comes the work. Okay, that first step, that most frustrating, scary first step of asking, is done, now you're working on it. Now, the biggest thing you need to think about in able to sustain this, this mentorship is to have a fulfilling mentorship is to show up, be committed 100%. Okay, being committed to show up to have that regular communication, not just off and on kind of thing, make it consistent, make it regular, make it predictable. And that I know that this day, at this time, work, I'm going to talk with my mentor, and I can tell him about what's going on my life. And he can kind of give me some some, you know, some tips and tricks, okay. It is going to be one of the most rewarding experiences. And it has huge benefits, but it requires a lot of effort. You see, our lives in the kitchen, are all over the place. We we know how hectic the kitchen can be and how unpredictable each one of our each and every single day is going to be. But staying committed and showing up. That is that is going to be one of the hardest things you're going to have to do. But it's going to be so rewarding. If you're able to do it, if you're able to commit 100%. Keeping that consistent and regular communication will allow you and your mentor to really understand what is going on in your life. See, the biggest issue once you start doing that, you're gonna have to even though you may have set boundaries, and explained and set those expectations. There are going to be times where one person inadvertently, you know, just accidentally crosses a boundary. When that happens at the beginning, before you do it, make sure that you create some sort of a way to say to the other person, hey, you're overstepping. Okay? And be good with it. Make sure that you're doing that, that you are setting those boundaries, that you are keeping those boundaries consistent. If they start to overstep those boundaries, let them know if things change, okay, and you realize that, you know what I'm willing to, I'm willing to let that one to bring back that boundary, because I see the benefit of bringing back that boundary. Let them know, Hey, you can overstep the boundary, but I like it. So let's set a new boundary. Okay, let's set a new a new line and say, go ahead and hit this. Go ahead and hit me hard. Really get into me and help me grow. As you're, as this relationship grows, as it develops, make sure that if you are the one receiving this instruction, then you express your gratitude that you tell them how much you appreciate everything that you do. There are going to be times where the what the thing that that person says you are going to completely disagree with. Have an open mind. Be willing to understand their point of view. Ask them questions don't just flat out disregard it or or throw it away, get to know where they're coming from. Sometimes, even though we may be good at communication, we've never really explained ourselves in that way before. And so, the way that we say it, the way that the mentor may say it is not exactly the way that them And so make sure that you continue with that communication, continue to make sure that both sides understand. And make sure that you understand that, make sure that they know how much you appreciate everything they're doing for you, because they're giving up their time. They're given up their spending effort, and, and worry, and, and hopes for you. And doing all these things because they really want to see you succeed. And so make sure that they understand how much you appreciate it. One of the, one of the most beneficial ways of showing your appreciation is by giving back helping others and even paying it forward. As you are getting that mentorship as you're receiving that, think to yourself, what is it that I can offer to somebody else, and start listening and start trying to find somebody that you might be able to mentor. By helping other people by teaching other people is that is the ultimate gratitude for a teacher is when the person that you have taught begins to teach somebody else. One of the great things about being a mentor is that you learn more about who you are as, as the mentor by teaching somebody else. See, when you're asking for help. And you're asking for this mentorship, ability and relationship, realize that you are also giving them the opportunity to grow. So as you further grow and develop, make sure that you show appreciation to your mentor. And then take that one step further and begin to help other people. This culinary field is rife with experience. And each one of us tends to go through life in the grind, and it's us. And we're the ones doing it and we have accomplished it. So when you find that person that is as reached those highest pinnacles know that they have done so with great effort with grit. And they have worked their butt off to get there. As they're teaching you this, make sure that you show your appreciation, and then go out and start mentoring other people. So I challenge all of you. I've got several people on here, who are experienced chefs. Maybe you've thought about mentoring, maybe you haven't. But I challenge you to go out and begin to look and see where you can help out. Find those people that are excited about cooking, and begin to put forth effort to teaching them. Those of you who are just starting out or looking for your mentor, get out there and let people know. That is the biggest thing. I I know that I probably could have gotten several mentors, if I would have just had the courage to go out and say, Hey, I'm looking for help. I would really appreciate if you would help me if you would mentor me. So in conclusion, mentoring offers you the chance to accelerate your career, both as the person mentoring and the person receiving the mentoring. Okay, knowing your vision of your future, knowing your goals, your aspirations, is the key to be able to find the right mentor. Look for those mentors, from the people who have more experiences in the areas that you want to learn. Again, it does not mean age has to be part of it. Okay? Just because they're younger doesn't mean that they don't have more experience. Be respectful and appreciative of what they're doing to help you. Ensure that you understand each other's boundaries and respect them. And make sure you share this knowledge that you gain again, beginning to mentor others. So thank you so very much for showing up. I really appreciate it. I love teaching other people I love doing these kinds of things. So, if you would next week I'm gonna be talking about how to make sure that you continue to enjoy your time in the kitchen. Because it can be a grind. It can be rough it can be, it can be absolutely horrible. But over the years I have learned steps and tricks to be able to turn that from an experience that is absolutely horrible to one that you look back at and feel absolutely energized by. So join me next week and we'll talk about how keeping yourself excited and and enjoying your time in the kitchen. And next Thursday, one o'clock. Thank you. Bye